Omul care n-are, n-are de un’ să dea, prin urmare nu dă, că n-are de unde.

Ştiu, îmi pare rău, iar am neglijat cu nepăsare acest spaţiu liniştit, calm, numai bun de vărsat ce s-adună, aşa că am adunat ş-am vărsat pe la prieteni, rude, cunoştinţe întâmplătoare, trecători, marţieni.

Şi mai rău, azi nu scriu, ci tai şi lipesc dintr-un mail scris unui prieten (categoria 1 la defulare, a se vedea mai sus). Şi şi mai rău, e în engleză, să mă ierte soarta.

Aşadar, pardon şi să continuăm.

I understand we need her (though I wonder what the poor people leaving her office understand, while I, being trained as a lawyer, have such a hard time to get what she says) but I feel that one day I will just go somewhere along the lines of “You know what? Just keep her, I’m fuckin quitting.”

She’s the type of person who, when you ask her a simple yes/no question related to her work, says “article 41″. You go “article 41?!” “Yeah, article 41, law 56/2005.” What the fuck is that law about? What the fuck does that particular article say? 10 minutes later you realise article 41 has nothing to do with your problem, she didn’t understand the question, and now that she seems to understand it, she says article 76 of the law 34/2001. Which again has nothing to do with your question, you realise as soon as she starts talking of it, cuz you (me!) ask what that article says, since you made it clear to everyone there, and to her in particular more than a dozen times, that you (me) cannot fuckin remember figures. In this respect, I am fuckin disabled. 15 minutes later, you feel like taking an aspirin, a xanax too, slashing your wrists and smashing her head, and try to figure a way to solve the problem on your own. As you’re in the process of doing it, 10 more minutes later she calls you on the internal line to tell you she’s figured it now, and serves you another stupidity, and you feel like ripping the phone off the wall.

That’s exactly the way she writes. Forget that fact that you need to spell-check everything she writes, and that she hasn’t got the best command of Romanian grammar and orthography, that aside, when you add the words in a sentence of her own, if you spread them in a totally different order, they would make as much sense. It’s like a dada poem, in which sometimes stanzas are repeated two paragraphs below, cuz she’s probably forgotten she’d already babbled on that thing 10 minutes before.

And all these are the most likely result of the way she actually thinks. Oh, and she’s also got tons of ego, naturally. If you manage to pull it off, cuz you had a common task, and did all the work while she constantly disturbed you with everything her stupid mind could come up with, next day she comes to you and says “Eh, we did a good job, didn’t we?”. I usually close my eyes for a second and imagine her head exploding when this happens. If you try to explain her nicely that you have to re-write (the case yesterday), and that she shouldn’t bother, that’s ok, you’ll do it by yourself – I left her a note on her desk, tried to avoid talking to her, even added a smiley, idiot me… she came laughing on the balcony (she actually laughs every time she does something stupid and nobody does anything to her, she fuckin finds it a good joke), where I was smoking a cig with E whom I had asked to help me on that part and I was explaining her what to do, so the retard came laughing and told me the materials we had on that we really shitty, have I seen that? And I told her, very nicely, that the past 15 minutes I made the logical scheme of that piece of study (the re-writing) and showed her a printed copy where I had put what goes under which headline in the logical scheme and how it works. Realising that I was to use like two paragraphs of what she wrote, she started yelling that it wasn’t only her that I had to correct the writing for in that handbook, and left slamming the balcony door, without giving me the chance to reply.

So this is when I went to her office and told her that correcting is different from re-writing and that I only had one message for her – that would be “suck cock”. I closed the door calmly.

Atât. Şi pardon de franceză, încă o dată, noapte bună, 1 Mai ferice.